"Missing NYC cobra now tweeting"

ODE FROM @BronxZoosCobra

A snake in the grass I am not
I'm more of a polyglot
I may not be quick on my feet
Just deadlier than most when I tweet
And the 100k upwards who follow me
Don't find it too hard to swallow me

Yeah, I'm a big hitter
The critter on Twitter

To you guys on the hunt from Bronx Zoo
I got a snake message for you
You better be sure to look good
'Cos I am the snake in the 'hood

Yeah, I'm a big hitter
The spitter on Twitter

(NOW GET A LOAD OF THISSS  HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS)

"Two-thirds of Britains say in religion but not religious"

GOT THE TEE-SHIRT BUT NEVER BEEN

Yes, we're a Christian nation
Just not in your congregation

"Coalition imposes No-Fly-Zone on Libya"

NO-FLY-ZONE

We fly so that they cannot
Bomb so that they cannot
Killing Libyans to save Libyans

But the flies take no notice
They're at home in the  zone

No flies on us but plenty on the corpses
It's a good world for flies

"Tsunami hits Japan after massive quake"

TOO-SOON-ARMY

Quake, humans, quake
Here comes the too-soon-army
Not just waving but drowning
In a sea of rubble

A tonne per metre*
City beater
Island eater

A metre per tonne
Nature’s big gun
Run, humans, run
From Neptune’s surfer
The gods’ flat-earther

Quake, humans, quake
Here comes the too-soon-army
　

(* Water weighs about 1 tonne per cubic metre)