"Arab Spring brings cheer to global arms industry"

..several countries that are normally not actively involved in armed conflicts are now in a position where they will need to restock bombs, ammunition and weapons following months of action in Libya and conflict elsewhere in the region, an executive at an international arms company told BBC News.  Orders from these countries could top several hundred million - and perhaps even billions - of dollars, industry officials predict.

SPRING FEVER

Ah, Spring, the time of renewal

See the little bombs clustered around the fields

Hear the cheerful chatter of the automatic weapons

The happy whistling of the shrapnel

The excited shrieks announcing the arrival of a flight of shells

Yes, spring is the renewal of hope

For a bumper yield of orders to replace last year's crop

Spring.  Happy days.  Happy shareholders. 

 All's well with the world.

"On your bike? Not likely, study finds"

"...the small numbers of people who do try cycling tend to be intimidated by the overwhelmingly car-oriented urban layouts" (Guardian)


FOUR WHEELS GOOD, TWO WHEELS BAD
(to be sung to 'Bicycle Races' by Queen)

Why cycle? why cycle? why cycle?
You want to ride your bicycle, bicycle, bicycle

You want to ride your bicycle
You want to ride your bike
Don't even think to try 'n  cycle
Just go and take a long long hike

You say two, I say four
You say bell, I say horn
You say ride, I say hey man
Bikes were never my scene
And I do like car doors
I say Rolls, I say Royce
You say God give me a choice
You say Lord, I say Christ
I don't believe in Peter Pan
Daisy Daisy, Velo man

All I want to do is.... (REPEAT FIRST VERSE)

Bicycle places aren't coming your way
So that's pornographic? oh yeah
Fat bottomed girls won't be riding today
They're so scared of the traffic oh yeah

On your marks, get set, go
Horsepower race, horsepower race, horsepower race

Why cycle? why cycle? why cycle?
You want to ride your bicycle, bicycle, bicycle

You want to ride your bicycle
You want to ride your bike
Don't even think to try 'n cycle
Just go and take a bloody hike

"Tardigrades: water bears in space"

"In 2007, a little known creature called a tardigrade (non-scientific name, the water bear) became the first animal to survive exposure to space.

It prevailed over sub-zero temperatures, unrelenting solar winds and an oxygen-deprived space vacuum.

On Monday, this microscopic cosmonaut has once again hitched a ride into space on the Nasa shuttle Endeavour."  - BBC

WATER BEARS IN SPACE

Imagine the scene in a time far, far away
The Earth is long since gone
Eaten by the Sun
The Sun itself has morphed
from giant to frozen dwarf

Deep in the depths of space
a race picks up a trace
of life from another place

They marvel at the life saved
Find its name on board
and call its planet 'Terra Tardigrade'
and ponder the ways of that world

"David Willetts plans to let rich parents buy top uni places"

THE MAN FROM THE MINISTRY


Private education for the gentility
will now go on to university
and this increases social mobility
(Says the man from The Ministry of Truth)

Do you not get the picture?
The rich will get richer
and the poor relatively more poor
This is what is meant by social mobility
(Says the man from the Ministry of Truth)

Do not forget what we told you
WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
and above all
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH
(Says the man from the Ministry of Truth)

"Osama Bin Laden killed by US forces"

LAST ONE STANDING

Revenge is sweet?
No, revenge is a bitter pill
leading to revenge until
the last one's left standing.
Revenged, but alone.
No one else at home.

"Robots venture inside Fukushima " (BBC)

NOTE FROM A PISSED-OFF ROBOT

I robot - me no fool
Fukushima? - nuclear fuel

Why you send me inside here?
You no going  - that much clear

What my future?  Just consider
I could probably live forever

You humans only here a minute
It's a no-brainer, innit?

Why you plot to send me in
to do your fuckin' venturin'?

Fuckushima?  Fuck you, schemer!

"Missing NYC cobra now tweeting"

ODE FROM @BronxZoosCobra

A snake in the grass I am not
I'm more of a polyglot
I may not be quick on my feet
Just deadlier than most when I tweet
And the 100k upwards who follow me
Don't find it too hard to swallow me

Yeah, I'm a big hitter
The critter on Twitter

To you guys on the hunt from Bronx Zoo
I got a snake message for you
You better be sure to look good
'Cos I am the snake in the 'hood

Yeah, I'm a big hitter
The spitter on Twitter

(NOW GET A LOAD OF THISSS  HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS)

"Two-thirds of Britains say in religion but not religious"

GOT THE TEE-SHIRT BUT NEVER BEEN

Yes, we're a Christian nation
Just not in your congregation

"Coalition imposes No-Fly-Zone on Libya"

NO-FLY-ZONE

We fly so that they cannot
Bomb so that they cannot
Killing Libyans to save Libyans

But the flies take no notice
They're at home in the  zone

No flies on us but plenty on the corpses
It's a good world for flies

"Tsunami hits Japan after massive quake"

TOO-SOON-ARMY

Quake, humans, quake
Here comes the too-soon-army
Not just waving but drowning
In a sea of rubble

A tonne per metre*
City beater
Island eater

A metre per tonne
Nature’s big gun
Run, humans, run
From Neptune’s surfer
The gods’ flat-earther

Quake, humans, quake
Here comes the too-soon-army
　

(* Water weighs about 1 tonne per cubic metre)